Wearing The Honorable Badge of Hours Worked
I’m guilty of it myself.
While I love working in customer service, I admit, I’ve done it.
Done what, you ask?
I’ve worn the honorable badge of hours worked.
I was caught up in the swirl of “the more I work, the more worthy I am”. The more valuable I am. The more people I can help. The more I can lead my team. The more of a hero I become. To infinity and beyond I go!
I worked for a great company. It was growing fast. I took it on myself to pull 10-12 hour days.
I thought that I was a failure. That I was lazy. I was exhausted – physically, mentally and emotionally.
I had to work. And, I had to work hard. Because I’m nothing without work. And there is no money without work.
I thought I was weak because I felt burnt out from so much work. I couldn’t keep up. I was a total grump. I felt horrible. I was suffering from high stress and digestive issues.
I’d hear stories from other people in and out of my company sharing how many hours they worked. I was on the lower end. Friends pulling 14-16 hours a day. Not sleeping. Not spending time with their family. Leaving work at the end of the day only to go home and hop back on the computer to work.
On weekends, I’d answer emails on the go. I’d hop online to answer a few questions, that of course turned into a few hours of questions.
I thought this is what I had to do. So many others were doing it.
Several years and many anxiety attacks later, I realized that I don’t have to be a superhero. And, that I can work smarter, not longer.
I took off my badge of working long hours just one year ago. It is still fresh in my mind and let me tell you – it’s been a game changer. And, as a health coach, I can now support my clients in removing their own badges.
So, how did I do this?
I gave myself a reality check.
I asked myself, “What is the cost of continuing down the path of working long, stressful hours Jenny? Is this the story you want to tell on your deathbed?” After yet another anxiety attack, I knew that my body was trying to tell me something. Was I actually going to listen this time around? Was this the life I wanted to live? I did a lot of journaling and talk therapy (yes, I went to therapy – I have no shame in admitting that) throughout this process. It wasn’t easy but I had to admit that a change was necessary. I wrote out what I was looking for in a job. I took a risk and left a job that treated me like royalty but wasn’t the best fit in my heart. And eventually, I landed a stellar role that fits into my lifestyle and keeps a smile on my face.
I say “no” more often.
I was taught from a very young age, like many of us, to be a “yes” person. Don’t say “no” or else you will disappoint. This was tough for me and to be honest, it is a struggle I continue to work on every day. But let me tell you – when you have those boundaries set and you can say “no” from a place of kindness, it’s the most magical way to lift a weight off of your shoulders. How did I do this? I once heard someone say to me, “I can’t do this but I can do ___” and something clicked in my head. I could say “no” and also suggest an alternative that fits into my life. Within hours, I was a “no” machine. And, good news for you – Marie Forleo just shared her Ultimate Guide to Saying No this week from which I have taken a few new tips.
Listen, I am not here to change your mind nor am I here to force you away from working long hours. Everyone is different and some people thrive in this condition.
However, I’m not that person and I did want to share a snippet of my journey with you about how I had to make some shifts. Because, it is possible if you believe it is possible. You can make the change.
PS: I’m a health coach over at Dempsey Wellness – non-diet, body positive health coaching for busy people in the real world. If you’d like a free session, connect with me via email email@example.com or via one of my social channels linked below.